Ben Patel

[Ben Patel]

Status: "Ben Patel would still like to know what the hell Lynch was THINKING with those weak plays in the Wanderers/Arrows match. Or what he was drinking."

Sex: Male
Birthday: 20th June 1981
Parents:
Kunal Patel
Indira Patel
Siblings:
Nadine Patel
Maya Patel
Hometown: Exmouth, Devon
Current City: Hogsmeade
Relationship Status: In a Relationship with Jenny Holloway
Interested In: Women
Looking For: Friendship, Networking
Political Views: Independent
Religious Views: Agnostic

Activities: Fantasy Quidditch League, Distance Running, Backpacking, Hiking, Climbing, Photography, Paintball, Surfing, Yoga, Beatboxing, Murderous Rampages
Interests: Cricket, Quidditch, Rugby, Hip Hop, Extreme Weather
Music: Mos Def, The Roots, Talib Kweli, Lauryn Hill, Nas, Common, Wiz Khalifa, Jay-Z, Kanye West, Dizzee Rascal, Lethal Bizzle, Beastie Boys, Public Enemy, Death Grips, Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar
Books: Quidditch Through the Ages
Movies: Boondock Saints, The Godfather, Trainspotting, Requiem for a Dream, Withnail and I, Raging Bull, Pulp Fiction
Television: The League, Sports Night, Born Survivor, Storm Chasers, Luther, Breaking Bad, The Wire

Favourite Quotations:
"I see and I forget, I hear and I forget, I do and I understand." - Confucius

"Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don�t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying 'yes' begins things. Saying 'yes' is how things grow. Saying 'yes' leads to knowledge. 'Yes' is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say 'yes'." - Stephen Colbert

"It seems to me that the natural world is the greatest source of excitement; the greatest source of visual beauty; the greatest source of intellectual interest. It is the greatest source of so much in life that makes life worth living." - David Attenborough

About Me: The hairy-handed gent who ran amok in Kent.

Education and Work:
2009-Present: British and Irish Quidditch League
Commentator

2007-Present: Wizarding Wireless Network
Co-Host, Mid-Morning Mayhem with Ben and Greg

2002-2007: Wizarding Wireless Network
Announcer, Sports and Weather

1999-2002: Wizarding Wireless Network
Intern

Contact Information:
Email: [e-mail]
IM Screename: ben jammin jammin

[Mason Mitchell]

Mason Mitchell has commented on your status:
Funny you should think that... Lynch had been celebrating something too hard the night before. How do I know this you ask? Well hey it's about time there were some benefits to being a barman in the Three Broomsticks. He was pissed as a fart when I finished my shift at 10 so something tells me he was playing through a hangover that match... or quite possibly he was still drunk. Disgraceful.

[Ben Patel]

Ben Patel commented on his status:
That's insane. I should confront him on Mayhem. Does he know how many blokes would give up a left nut to be in his position?

I don't even drink before a match, and all I have to do is sit in a box and shout opinions. Which drunk people do all the time anyway.

Ben Patel sent you a message:
Serious question. Reckon I should let Jenny watch me transform next month? It's a part of me and that, but I don't want her to associate 'Ben standing round naked' with 'something grotesque and horrible is about to happen'.

[Mason Mitchell]

Mason Mitchell has commented on your status:
Do it, dude needs to answer for why he chucked his pint all over the floor and then claimed he was perfectly sober. Dunno really, perhaps it's just my cynical nature, but I reckon most pro Quidditch players forget just how lucky they are to be making a living doing the thing they really love rather than being stuck in a completely unfulfilling crappy 9-5 job in an office somewhere. Or something.

Have you ever considered trying to commentate while drunk? Might yield some interesting results.

Mason Mitchell sent you a message:
Woah, Ben... so this relationship with Jenny must be really serious serious now, aye? Glad to hear it!

Alright, look mate, from what I know of Jenny she's a great lass and she'd want to help you through the 'freaky wolf thing you've got going on' in any way she could. Plus she's definitely the most accepting girl I know, seriously, it's not like she'll freak out about it or think it's grotesque... if anyone would find it beautiful in some way it'd be her. I say go for it Patel, it's a part of you and, well, if you see some kind of future with her then she's going to see you transform at some point anyway, surely?

[Ben Patel]

Ben Patel commented on his status:
My job's left me fairly disillusioned by professional athletes. If I had that chance, I'd spend my days thanking every deity, spirit and lucky star I could think of... not going on benders, roiding or running three-headed-dogfighting rings.

Dunno how well spectators would appreciate me slurring my way through a fast-paced play-by-play, though.

Ben Patel sent you a message:
You could say that. I panicked over the kid thing, but otherwise...

Cheers, mate. It's good to get an outsider's perspective. I'm used to my condition at this point, but then again, I've been compartmentalising for years.

[Mason Mitchell]

Mason Mitchell has commented on your status:
Ha, that's the spirit! Eeesh athletes these days... no idea how good they've got it. We should stage some kind of intervention and show 'em how shitty life could be if we took away their fame and fortune.

Hey, come on now, I would appreciate hearing you slur your way through a match commentary... isn't that what counts the most? :P

Mason Mitchell sent you a message:
Woah, I'm thrilled for you cos, like I said, she's a lovely lass. Aaah you know I think the kid thing was probably just her being all hypothetical and, as long as she hasn't suddenly grabbed you all wide-eyed and crazy-looking and said "I WANT BABIES NOW!", I'd say you two will be fine! Not that I wouldn't have panicked in your position like but, you know, I'm sure she didn't really mean anything by it. Or at least she'll claim she didn't.

No worries mate, I'm always hear for... well I probably give shite advice but it's a different perspective at least. Yeah? Good on you, I'm sure it'll be grand.

[Jenny Holloway]

Jenny Holloway has commented on your status:
You know, Mr Mitchell, sometimes I think you might be a very bad influence on Ben... :P Oh dear, since you've known him since Hogwarts, I suppose it's too late to do anything about it if you have profoundly influenced him, hmmm?

Anyhu, my lovely, I was just wondering if you fancied a quiet night in at mine (supper and a film or something) tonight? And I promise I won't make you watch Casablanca yet again so long as you promise not to make me watch Trainspotting... never again!

[Ben Patel]

Ben Patel commented on his status:
I'm down with that, Mase. Ghost of Fallen Athletes Past style? And I'm 100% certain I've talked Quidditch with you while drunk. I mean, I talk about it all the other times.

Is no one willing to entertain the possibility that I was a bad influence on Mason? No? Jenny my love... that sounds very fair. We should probably compromise with films we can both enjoy. Something about a beloved animal or a rag-tag sports team or misfit kids who learn to express themselves through breakdance.

[Mason Mitchell]

Mason Mitchell has commented on your status:
Exactly, you're not telling me that's not the stuff shite-but-oddly-addictive TV programmes are made of! Aye you probably have... but if you were drunk then I must have definitely been heroically drunk too, hence my lack of memory of such drunken-Quidditch-times. I'll need to hear it again while I am sober.

No because you're, deep down, like the moral heart of the group compared to yours truly... whilst I fit the 'burnout loser who spent the most of his early 20s stoned or pissed... or both' type.

Aww look at you two kids, it's cute, bargaining over film choices! It's frigging precious, seriously. (Make her watch Trainspotting again, doooooo it, haha!)

[Ben Patel]

Ben Patel commented on his status:
I'm never drunk when you're sober. Therein lies the dilemma.

I always knew I had a purpose! I thought it was my magnetic charisma. Do I want to know what you all did that year I was gone, or should I continue to live in blissful ignorance?

Ben Patel sent you a message:
Well, I've done it. I asked Jenny. Since I'll be colour-blind anyway, we ought to watch one of her old black-and-white films... what's the current exchange rate, is that worth another Trainspotting?

[Mason Mitchell]

Mason Mitchell has commented on your status:
Pff, technicality my friend, a mere technicality. I am sure we can 'arrange' something to be done about that.

Course you did/do mate! Your charisma was a key factor of you but the moral crap overpowered it. Although admittedly the reason you were unofficially 'the one with morals' could have been simply because the rest of us didn't have any semblence of morals at all - you were the best of a bad lot maybe?

No, no you do not. Trust me, 'ignorance is bliss' has never been more relevant than it is now.

Mason Mitchell sent you a message:
You serious? I am assuming she said aye but pff like she'd say anything else. Good on you mate!

Well I do believe the current exchange rate for watching a black-and-white film with a girlfriend is one viewing of Trainspotting with an additional Tarantino of some description to follow. Personally for sir I'd recommend Inglourious Basterds... I'm sure Jenny will simply love the Basterds' methods.

[Ben Patel]

Ben Patel commented on his status:
... Are you going to have your way with me?

Best of the worst, then? I can live with that. I'm sure I did too much in the way of distraction/lookouts to be a proper moral centre.

And I still maintain that I was the first of our lot to lose his virginity. I know none of you will ever believe me, but I will proclaim it til my dying day.

Ben Patel sent you a message:
Thanks.

Oh, and I can't provide running commentary through the whole film, as I am wont to do. That has to bump it up to a second Tarantino. At least a Pulp Fiction.

[Mason Mitchell]

Mason Mitchell has commented on your status:
Wouldn't you love to know if I was...

Aye, best of the worst pretty much sums it up nicely. It's an achievement, mate, be proud of that title! You're not up for a sainthood or anything, no.

Nope, none of us will ever believe that you were the first to lose it. Sorry, just the way it is. And, by all means, proclaim it all you like but just know that repeating something to yourself over and over doesn't suddenly make it true, mate. :P

Mason Mitchell sent you a message:
If you are unable to provide running commentary of a film then the consequence is, yes, a second Tarantino I believe. You know, I think it's even worth two viewings of Pulp Fiction, you can redeem one straight away but then save the other for a later date so you can whip it out when Jen wants to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's or whatever. ;) Who would have thought watching films would need so much thought and descend into quasi-political decisions? Wow.

[Ben Patel]

Ben Patel commented on his status:
Wow, good thing I'm used to being on all fours. (Too far?)

And just because Vivian moved to China fifteen years ago and we have no way of finding or contacting her doesn't make it less true.

Ben Patel sent you a message:
I still think she'll like Inglourious Basterds. I mean, if you're going to have gratuitous violence, it doesn't hurt to have it against Nazis.

[Mason Mitchell]

Mason Mitchell has commented on your status:
Too far? Very much 'too far' I'd say.

Uh, yes it does. If the girl does not confirm it, it is not true. I always thought it was rather convenient that Vivian did move to China and could not corroborate your story. Just so you know, I will never let this go as long as you keep proclaiming it to be thus. We'll see which of us gives up (or dies) first!

Mason Mitchell sent you a message:
She'll appreciate the cinematography, I'm sure... who wouldn't?! And hey what about that blonde Jewish woman, she's a pretty kick-arse character, she must be an inspiring role model for women to see on film? (Can you sense I'm grasping at straws here?)

Oh and I'm informed that some of the actors are considered 'hot' so Jenny might enjoy seeing one of them beat the shit out of Nazis. Apparently, violence is completely fine so long as the person doing it is 'fit'. (Though this opinion does come from my sister whose mindset and choice of boyfriends have always concerned me.)