To the Holloway ladies!

[Lacey Holloway]

To: Chastity Holloway, Jenny Holloway, Marilyn Holloway
Cc: Janis Holloway
From: Lacey Holloway <[e-mail]>
Subject: OMFG.

So, like, on a scale of one to Britney with the umbrella, how psycho has Mum been acting lately?! I am so glad I'm not an only child, because like, I don't even know who else I can bitch to about this. Quit taking your hot flashes out on everyone else, lady.

Jen, I guess I was so busy being a self-involved train wreck that I never got around to telling you congratulations, so. Congratulations. You ever need anything or want to go shopping for stuff or whatever, let me know.

Oh yeah, apologies if I inadvertently stole anyone's family-disappointing thunder. ;)

~ Lacey

[Chastity Holloway]

Im sure the other girls will agree with me here, this is pretty much what you come to expect from her now, this was pretty tame in relation to her finding out I'd fucked off travelling halfway through my 7th year of school. Her reaction was even worse whn I came back with a belly full of baby and no father to be seen anywhere.

Dont think we'll ever be invited back as a group, our collective disobedience has turned her hair even greyer.

Your foray into fanny, while shocking, will never steal my "Family Disappointment" crown, that shit is firmly implanted on this noggin. Even Dad thinks Im a fucking nightmare.
Only gripe I have....you didnt trust me enough to tell me you were drinking from the furry cup. Shame on you.
- Chas x

[Jenny Holloway]

To: Lacey Holloway <[e-mail]>
From: Jenny Holloway <[e-mail]>
Subject: I KNOW, RIGHT?

Hi Lacey, it was so great to hear from you after the (let's be honest) car crash that was Christmas. Also, I don't think I properly said at the time but good on you for your announcement - it was an impressive volume, me and Ben could hear it from the hallway, and if I wasn't so involved in feeling sorry for myself I would have been right back in there wooping and cheering you on. I can't imagine what Mum's face must have looked like. Any chance you took a picture?

That being said, I'm trying to understand her motivations, mostly just why she persists in having impossibly high and indiscriminate expectations for her children that she herself doesn't even follow... (Was that a little mean??) But I'm finding it quite hard to be perfectly honest. I don't think she'll ever think she reacted wrongly to anything we've ever done/said/announced. Though, I did get a tentative phone call from Dad this morning so... idk maybe it's all Mum's issue?

Thank you for the well wishes, Lace, I appreciate it and I could probably use another girl to go shopping for baby stuff closer to my due date. Finally an excuse to buy cute baby clothing, hmm? :)

- Jenny xxx

[Lacey Holloway]

To: Chastity Holloway, Jenny Holloway, Marilyn Holloway, Janis Holloway
From: Lacey Holloway <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: OMFG

It was one of our better exits, though.

I wouldn't dream of stealing your crown, Chas. ;) And UGH, I haven't even done... that yet. Where do lesb people like me lesbians hang out? How am I supposed to, like, broadcast my interest without painting 'I love fannies' on my forehead? I am NOT getting a crew cut or wearing flannel, okay. Clipping my nails was like enough of a sacrifice

~ Lacey

To: Jenny Holloway
From: Lacey Holloway <[e-mail]>
Subject: We're here, we're queer, we wanna get married on the ocean

Hmm, I think I may have a snapped a pic...


Embrace your mean, babes. You'd think the fact that she's disappointed in *ALL* of us would make her wonder if maybe she's the problem, but that might be asking too much. Whatever.

I want to practice my sewing too, so. Tiny wolf costume? ;)

~ Lacey

[Jenny Holloway]

To: Lacey Holloway
From: Jenny Holloway <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: We're here, we're queer, we wanna get married on the ocean

Haha! I, for one, enjoy the 'Arrested Development' references. Y'know, I've never considered it before but... Mum is quite like Lucille Bluth. Oh dear God. :/

But I don't know how to be willfully unkind and mean, I've had 31 solid years of making a point of being kind to everyone, I need someone to help me channel the mean that must be inside of me!

Maybe it's not her fault She's got our interests at heart, deep down Maybe she wants us to not make the mistakes she did?

When will the wolf thing stop being the source of jokes? But yes, feel free to make all the clothing you like...

(I fear I've just given you free reign to sew wolf ears onto everything now, Oh dear!)

- Jenny xxx