I'll rise but I wont shine

[Emilie Langley]

Since having the baby, Emilie hadnt properly had a full nights sleep but hadnt had the heart to tell Ryan, she hadnt wanted to admit that she was having trouble seeing to their child, doing the housework and having a social life as well, often getting up in the middle of the night whilst the baby & Ryan slept to finish folding the laundry she'd hidden from Ryan so he wouldnt see she hadnt done it.

So that is why Emilie was now still in her pyjamas after midday with her hair unwashed & unbrushed, lying asleep on the sofa, with her mouth wide open & snoring loudly.
The baby had went down for his afternoon nap and Emilie had decided to have a lie down, just for a second.

(ooc. Feel free to drop in anyone!)

[Amanda Newman]

((ooc: This made me go awww Emilie :'( I was thinking of bringing Ryan and/or Ella in later too if that's cool?))

Having been rather quietly concerned about Emilie (because, for all she appeared to be coping excellently, Amanda suspected otherwise), she had tried to subtly suggest this to Ryan. It had not worked... at all. Sometimes, men were oblivious. Just as she had insistently bugged Ryan when he was younger until he finally admitted he needed help or had done something he shouldn't have done, Amanda intended to (perhaps more sweetly) look out for Emilie. It was for this reason that she apparated into her and Ryan's home with some grocery shopping for them and clothes she'd seen for the baby and thought were so cute.

Treading carefully she sneaked into the kitchen and unpacked the food shopping (they had needed stuff like bread and milk as she'd suspected) before making her way back into the living room where she observed a snoring Emilie with a sad smile. At the same time her run of being surprisingly quiet for such a clumsy individual ended as her mobile phone suddenly rang and she anxiously dived into her handbag, not wanting to wake Emilie or the baby. Pressing the reject call button she winced as she realised she'd indeed woke the other blonde, "I'm sorry!" she exclaimed apologetically, "I just stopped by with some stuff," she held up the bag of clothes as proof before sitting down on the sofa and looking concernedly at the woman. "Are you okay honey?"

[Emilie Langley]

Hearing a loud, musical sound, Emilie snapped awake and sat up, instantly moving towards the moses basket with her sleeping child in and looked at him in confusion, he'd never made a noise like that before and he was indeed still sleeping. Hearing a voice to her left, Emilie turned around confused before giving a small smile when she saw it was Amanda & not her baby, as she had first panicked.

"Amanda, hello! Im...Im great, I just lay down for a tiny little second, wasnt sleeping" she lied unconvincingly, trying to smooth down her hair without the other woman noticing too much.
"Oh, Amanda! You shouldnt have...you've already bought so much!" Emilie smiled at the bag of clothes, pushing herself to her feet with a weary noise, "Cup of tea? Im afraid I dont have any milk, I...oh god, I forgot to go shopping" Emilie's face twisted into a disappointed look as she sank back down onto the sofa, she had promised to make Ryan and her friends a nice dinner but had completely forgotten to pick up the ingredients.

[Amanda Newman]

Amanda winced apologetically as she noted Emilie's sudden move towards her sleeping baby due to her maternal instincts kicking in. As she perched on the edge of the sofa, Amanda's brow furrowed as Emilie tried her best to pretend she hadn't been asleep. "Okay, sure, sure, it's not like I've ever said that before," she commented, fixing the girl with a knowing look before she grinned, "Honey, it's not a crime to have a nap while your baby is, you know? If anything I'd say it's necessary, you must be exhausted."

"I wanted to," she shrugged simply, rummaging in the bag to pull out a baby grow and show her for a second, "Besides, how could I see something this cute and not buy it?!" she reasoned with a quiet laugh as she put it back but then abandoned it and her handbag on the floor, instead turning to look up at the girl as she stood and offered tea. "A cup of tea would be lovely-" she admitted but then hesitated as Emilie defeatedly sank back into the sofa, "I think you'll discover you do have milk after all," she told her, adding as an explanation as to why she felt the need to shop for her, "It's sort of part of my inability to leave people alone, I tend to fuss and I figured you might need stuff like milk and bread. And I can pop out and get you some more groceries if you need anything for dinner or something."

Sparing a glance at the sleeping baby boy she bit her lip, for once taking a moment to think about how she was going to phrase what she wanted to say so as not to offend Emilie. "Don't take this the wrong way but are you really alright? Because... look I know this isn't an easy time for any first-time mummy and what with Ryan off practicing for his next big match and not around and, don't tell him I said this but, that man is more than a little oblivious at the best of times and... well what I'm trying to say is that you look a little tired. Well obviously you're tired, duh me, but... I'm a little concerned and if you'll let me, I'd like to help a little. So, hey, why don't you go take a shower and get dressed while I'll look after little Baby Langley and then I'll make us some tea, hmm?" she suggested softly.

[Emilie Langley]

"I dont have time to nap, look..." she motioned to the room around them, she hadnt hoovered or dusted at all that week and she had just dumped the washing on an armchair, fully intending to do it at some point before Ryan returned home from practice, she wanted to be the perfect wife for him and was sure he'd hate to come home to a house that wasnt perfect after a long day at work.

Looking at the babygro, Emilie couldnt help but smile at it, it was gorgeously adorable and she could see why Amanda would have trouble not buying it, "That is gorgeous! Thank you Mand, I really appreciate it! Thanks to you, the little one will be the trendiest baby around" she gave a laugh, looking over to the sleeping baby with a fond look, she still couldnt come to terms with the fact that she and Ryan had made him, he was perfection.

With tears in her eyes as Amanda admitted to bringing in groceries, Emilie moved over to where she was sat and wrapped her arms tightly around her, a deep sob escaping though she tried to keep it in. "Th-thank you, th-thank you so much" Emilie managed to mutter, her arms moving tighter around Amanda before she managed to compose herself, pulling herself away she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand before looking at Amanda sadly.

"I cant do it" Emilie admitted with tear-filled eyes, feeling like a failure for admitting it, feeling like she was failing her new baby because she couldnt do everything. "I cant look after him, do all the housework, have a social life and sleep. I cant do it all, Im such a bad mother" her voice went almost super sonic as she started to cry again, her head in her hands as she broke down in front of Amanda.

(ooc. It seems Em has some postnatal depression, shall we go with that?! I still cant think of a name for the baby, lol!)

[Amanda Newman]

Amanda shook her head, "Em, honey, you need to rest, you have to sleep at some point!" she pointed out as she glanced around the room that Emilie seemed to think was so untidy. "Alright so the washing needs to be done, a little hoovering... your house doesn't have to look like a show-home 24/7 you know? To expect that of someone who has a cute but very demanding baby to take care of would be ridiciulous," she reasoned with a slight sigh. She knew Emilie liked to keep a clean house and be that typical good wife and mother figure. She wondered again whether she needed to have a word with Ryan about whether this desire for perfection was his doing, even if unintentionally.

Her grin deepening then as Emilie smiled upon seeing the little item of clothing she nodded enthusiastically, "I know, right? So cute! Why can't all clothing look this insanely cute... it's so small and adorable!" she enthused before waving away Emilie's thanks. "Hey, it's no problem... and if I can pass on a little of my particular uh 'sense of fashion' to little Langley here then my mission is accomplished," she joked lightly. She did tend to dress however the hell she felt like; bright patterns and bold colours were her thing and often met with raised eyebrows.

"Woah, hey, hey Em, come on now honey, it's nothing at all," Amanda whispered as she was surprised by the girl's tight hug. Gently wrapping her arms around her and rubbing her back in a comforting manner she didn't say anything more and merely let the blonde try to compose herself because she knew asking 'are you alright?' again would probably make the poor girl feel worse. Any semblance of a smile completely faded as she looked at her then, shaking her head as though she didn't like to hear the words Emilie was saying, "Sweetie, I promise you that you can do it. If there's anyone on earth I would say would be the best mummy ever it'd be you, I'd choose you in a heartbeat," she assured her softly, her heart breaking for her as she saw just how much the pressure was getting to Emilie. "You're trying to do too much, you need to give yourself a break, put your feet up every once in a while, ease up on the housework a little. What is important is your health and your baby's health and nothing is more important than that, you hear me?" the blonde said seriously, taking the girl's hands in her own and squeezing them gently so she'd look at her instead of slumping defeatedly.

"You haven't told anyone else this have you?" she asked quietly, shaking her head sadly, "You are not a bad mother in any sense of the word. Lots of women feel exactly like you are feeling, it's a huge responsibility, suddenly having another human being to feed and dress and look after whilst trying to keep your own life together. You are not alone in this, Emilie, just remember that, you have Ryan, you have your family and your friends... you've got me. And I think I speak for all of us when I say we would be more than happy to help you and you are by no means a failure if you allow us to pick up some slack while you rest. For what it's worth, I think you make an awesome mummy and you are so unbelievably patient and loving and strong for doing this, I know I would be so scared if I had a kid of my own," she shrugged as if it were as simple as that.


((ooc. Oo yes, let's roll with that! Can I have Ryan be his clueless self for a little while but then realise Amanda was trying to hint about it to him... he'll get it eventually and be around the house more? Hmm, I'm rubbish with boys names but how about Oliver, Jack, Harry, Josh, Thomas, James, Daniel, Joseph, Samuel, Jacob, Alex, Oscar, Liam, Adam (he'd be so pleased hehe), Luke, Isaac, Nathan? I've literally gone through some of the most popular baby names and copied them haha but do any leap out at you? Or is there a book Em loves or maybe they could name him after her grandad or something?))

[Emilie Langley]

"But look at it! Look...it's a hovel! Ryan...Ryan has gotten used to a certain degree of cleanliness, I should be able to do this...every other new mother can do it, why cant I?" Emilie sighed to herself, looking over to her sleeping baby and feeling a sense of dread, feeling like she'd really let this baby down already.

"I cant put my feet up, thats ridiculous! My husband spends all day practicing, making money for our family, the least I can do is keep the house looking nice for him and you guys, well, you all have your own lives to lead, this is my responsibility" she stood up, walking over to the baby and touching his face gently with a fond smile.

"Will you make sure he's ok? I need to get washed & dressed, I need to cook" Emilie smiled at Amanda, deciding that avoiding the current conversation would be better than talking it over.

(ooc. Aaaw, calling the baby Adam would be so adorable! Her Grandad is called Benjamin, so Benjamin Adam or just Adam? Or name him after Ryan's father? And sorry she's a bit bland, my brain is empty )

[Amanda Newman]

"Sweetie, it is far from a hovel," Amanda disagreed with a shake of her head, "It is a family home, a realistic, lived-in home." Frowning deeply as Emilie got herself more worked up she squeezed her hands gently, "Look, if this is something Ryan has 'gotten used to', well maybe he needs a little reality check. I gotta say, most guys, and Ryan is no exception, wouldn't notice if you hadn't dusted or if there was a pile of washing... so long as it isn't on their chair, they won't make a big deal of it. Come on, Ryan used to live in a house where I did the cooking and cleaning... and let me tell you, I'm no good at housework. He managed just fine then and he'll manage just fine now."

Sighing slightly, the blonde stood up as Emilie did, making to reach for her in comfort before dropping her hand instead as the other woman went over to her sleeping baby. "You need some time for you, Em, that's painfully obvious. Ryan spends all day doing the thing he loves, Quidditch, maybe he can help out more... he's... well you married him... he's not exactly sharp when it comes to noticing stuff like this and, honey, I honestly think he'd love to pitch in more and help take some of the stress of you. He'd be more upset to find out his wife was saying these kinds of things and hiding it from him," she argued softly, just trying to give Emilie a sense of perspective on it all from what she knew about Ryan.

"Of course, sweetie, you take all the time you need," Amanda assured her with a small smile, dropping the subject for the time being but making a mental note to have a little chat with Ryan about this, "We all know Baby Langley loves his Aunt Amanda's company," she joked light heartedly as she took her coat off and abandoned it on top of her handbag as she moved to sit cross-legged by the basket the baby was in.

((ooc: I've never thought of a name for Ryan's dad, haha I was thinking just something like John tbh. As for the baby, I'd love if they named him Benjamin or Adam... I think Adam would be SO cute, maybe they both liked the name anyway, even without the awesome that is Adam. It was lovely, Telle!))

[Emilie Langley]

Reaching the bathroom, Emilie sat down on the closed toilet seat and took a few deep breaths to calm herself down, angry at herself for burdening poor Amanda with silly little worries that had nothing to do with her, it wasnt fair and she made a mental note to never bring it up again.

With a wave of her wand, Emilie cleaned the entire bathroom as she showered quickly, she preffered to do it the muggle way as she felt it gave it a more personal touch but needs must & she only had a short time to get the upper level of her house cleaned whilst Amanda sat with the baby. Hurrying to her bedroom, she pulled on a pair of leggings and paired them with a long top, slipping her feet into a pair of flip flops, she gave the room a quick clean before doing the same in the hall & Adam's nursery.

Making her way downstairs, Emilie made sure she was smiling as naturally as possible even though she still felt dreadful inside, "Thank you, Amanda...all clean!" she motioned to herself before moving to the moses basket, touching her son's cheek softly before moving to the pile of laundry on the sofa, "So, what have you been up to today? Anything exciting? You can stay for lunch, he'll be up soon...you can feed him, if you'd like?" Emilie spoke softly so as not to wake the baby up as she folded the clothes, trying to alter her menu for Ryan's dinner mentally to make up for her lack of shopping, she liked her husband to be well fed.