It’s Empty in the Valley of Your Heart

[Stephan Cullen]

Stephan woke to the sunshine streaming through a gap in the billowing curtains as a light breeze blew through the open window. He stretched his toes finding that one leg was wrapped around another’s. His eyelids lifted slowly as he blinked, gradually become accustomed to the late morning light.

Glancing from left to right a slowly forming smile spread across his lips. In each arm he cradled two beautiful women, one a blonde, the other redhead. The redhead had her leg spread across his torso her chest pressed against his, while the blonde’s ankles intertwined with his, and her head nuzzled into his neck, her body curved around his. As he woke the two women stirred. Neither were Claire, but there were two of them, that had to make up for the one he had lost. It didn’t but he liked to pretend that it did.

“Good morning ladies,” he greeted each of them quietly, his voice soft and smooth as velvet.

The redhead kissed him as she woke, and replied her green eyes playful, “Good morning,” with a heavy emphasis on the ‘good’ part. He ran a hand into her fiery locks as he kissed her in return, and then as the blonde awoke he turned to her caressing his thumb along her cheekbone as he kissed her and she let out a small giggle, her large brown doe-eyes gazing innocently up at him with the most delighted look in her expression.

“Now I am ever so sorry ladies, but I must go to work.” They both groaned and made sounds of protest. Untangling himself from the two girls he climbed out of the bed quite nimbly. “You may both stay as long as you like and feel free to use the bath or shower,” he gave them each a cheeky smile as he dressed in front of them. They’re eyes trailed over his perfectly muscled torso and arms. The redhead’s eyes seemed to drift a bit lower than the blonde’s and he smirked playfully at the redhead before grabbing his black trousers and a grey shirt.

“We should do this again soon,” he kissed each of them on the hand, the redhead pulled him by the shirt and snogged him hard on the mouth one last time. “Molly it was a pleasure,” he purred pausing a moment his grey eyes resting on hers as he smiled, “And Theresa,” his kissed her softly on the forehead, “You were a dream,” he winked at her before making his leave of the ladies who were slowly, as if in a daze collecting their things.

Stephan didn’t really have work. It was his day off. Though he had no intention of staying around there, he didn’t like the ‘leaving’ part, he liked to leave first, and besides, he had no food in his fridge to make them breakfast so a quickie in the morning was entirely out of the question. He had only returned two nights ago and had bedded a succession of girls in merely three days and he really didn’t plan to stop the procession anytime soon.

In a whirl of black smoke he apparated to the market place. Stephan was superb at apparition now. He had splinched himself at least three times. He grabbed a basket and glanced around at the selection. He went round and piled a few apples, nectarines, grapes and a crate of strawberries into the basket. His hand had paused over the strawberries. Even after all this time the plump red fruit reminded him of Claire. It was silly really, how one little insignificant thing could remind you of a person. She had always liked them so especially when he had brought them accompanied by melted chocolate. These thoughts distracted him from hitting on the attractive brunette beside him. She gave him a flirty smile but he let it go and simply smiled politely back at her. He piled a crate of strawberries into his cart and moved onto things other than fruit and thoughts of Claire.

Stephan made a microscopic swish of his wand as his basket grew heavier a few small whips of bluey-white light emitted from his wand to make the weight almost disappear.

((ooc: Stephan is ready for Claire and Emma sorry it was a wee bit long, alright really long hehe, and rather rubbish but I wrote something so that has to count for something, right? Hehe))

[Claire Wilkins]

((ooc: Mumford & Sons lyrics as subjects? I heartily approve! Hope this is okay, I figured her clumsiness ought to be their way of 'running into each other again' and she could have her back to him, trying to save the tumbling potatoes, so he wouldn't necessarily recognise her at first until she turned round to think her 'saviour' hehe.))

Claire had been trying her very hardest to forget Him. Alright, perhaps not 'forget' since she was fairly certain no one could ever actually erase Him from their mind, but rather 'try not to spend every minute thinking about him and what a huge mistake you made'. 'Him' of course was her now-ex-boyfriend that she'd became increasingly uncertain and insecure around 6 months previously, causing her to reject his suggestion to move in together as she thought he was only doing it out of a sense of duty to her, and lead to him well and truly putting distance between them as he had promptly headed off to travel the world. The past months hadn't been great for Claire. She'd started to slide back down the slippery slope from crushing insecurity to near-depression - luckily this time her parents had learnt to look out for the warning signs and, with her siblings help, had persuaded her to seek help before it was too late. Months later and she could now say her anxiety was controlled, her body image and self-confidence was finally improving, and she was on her way to becoming the happy, bubbly Claire Wilkins that everyone knew.

She'd been doing so well, until she'd heard whisperings a few days ago from Andy Michalka (who'd heard from her Auror uncle) that a certain 'Stephan Cullen' had applied to work in the Ministry department as a potions expert. He was back in the UK then and so Claire found herself torn - for months she'd known she'd made perhaps the biggest mistake of her life when she broke up with Stephan but she knew now that to seek him out, to ask him to forgive her and consider taking her back, would be insensitive and selfish. It was extremely hard to push him out of her mind though and for the past couple of days she'd found her thoughts aimlessly straying to him, almost hearing his voice in her head as she replayed their conversations. This wasn't healthy, she knew, but even mundane tasks such as shopping (ones that usually succeeded in diverting her thoughts to everyday concerns rather than Him) had became ineffective. Now was one such occasion and Claire meandered through the market with her basket trailing behind her as she walked in a daze, barely seeing the produce in front of her. One thing that hadn't changed was her clumsiness and a daydreaming Claire + stacks of precariously balanced vegetables was not a good combination. Stumbling somewhat she elbowed the piled-up potatoes, initiating what could very easily become an avalanche, and quickly threw her arms out to try to steady them. "Help? Please?" she asked hopefully of a boy passing near her who she spied had his wand out which was helpful in just such situations she felt.

[Stephan Cullen]

((ooc: Hehe, yes I was listening to Mumford & Sons at the time, and I thought it sort of fit Stephan. Sorry this one is a bit long as well, and rather rubbish.))

There were a lot of things Stephan had improved upon over the last 6 months, other than apparation. He no longer feared Deatheaters, not like he had before. The icy, gnawing feeling at the pit of his stomach did not come as quickly when faced with a Deatheater or two. He had a few scares hidden beneath his clothes to prove that point. On more than one occasion Stephan had found himself near-death, or trapped in life-threatening situations which only he could get himself out of. He wasn’t afraid of being alone anymore; he had survived these past 6 months. Survived. That is exactly what he had done. Some might think lived would be the opportune word but Stephan did not think of it as living at all, it felt more like dying. In a way Stephan had died, his heart remained with Claire when he left. A new Stephan was born. Whether or not this new Stephan was an improvement upon the old version was purely down to the viewer to decide. Most women found this version: taller, well-muscled yet still not quite bulky version with a care-free nature, and bad-boy tendencies much more appealing. His charisma had endured and perhaps been strengthened due to the freedom he gained from the copious amounts of brooding which had plagued him for years. Yet it was not just any girl’s opinion that mattered, it was hers. As much as he tried to deny it he longed to see her, to smell her, to kiss her lips, to hear that unmistakable laughter which sounded like a songbirds call.

Thankfully a very attractive blonde in front of him distracted him from such unwanted thoughts about a certain Hufflepuff which he would thoroughly makeup for later by flirting shamelessly and most likely bedding some other girl he met that night. Stephan for a split second considered the blonde in front of him. He had been admittedly checking her out earlier while his mind wandered. She was beautiful. Small, blonde, and curvy, his cup of tea. He liked all women, and wasn’t really particular about how they looked. He loved women, period. From the back however, this young lady was his kryptonite, she was small, curvy, and blonde with her hair falling in bouncy waves. It reminded him of Claire, that was perhaps the reason why he fell for such blonde beauties, like Theresa the night before, but he tended to stray away from the blue-eyed blonde combo, that was far too much like Claire.

He noticed her elbow the potatoes and cringed. Leaping forward to aid the young woman with a silent swish of his wrist a yellow spark exploded from the end of his wand and the potatoes froze mid-air.

“Shit,” he muttered at curse realising he had dropped his own basket and mumbled something to stop the basket from hitting the ground. It hovered inches above the ground. Grabbing the handle once more Stephan turned back to the floating potatoes and made another motion with his wand, this time it was wider and looked more like a figure-eight with a snake tail. The potatoes promptly leapt back onto the pile and stacked themselves neatly.

“It is not every day I have the pleasure of helping a lovely damsel in distress such as yourself thwart off an onslaught of potatoes,” he smirked at the potatoes now pristinely stacked still not having yet seen her face, “I am Stephan, and what might your name¬-” his voice cut off sharply as he gazed down at Claire. He couldn’t breathe. It felt like a knife was ripping deep into his chest. He almost felt the need to look down to make sure there wasn’t an actual blade stuck in his chest and a gruesome scene unfolding in the market place. “Claire,” he finished curtly, his voice sharp, but he quickly regained his composure and smirked at her lazily, “I see you haven’t lost your clumsy touch, but that’s alright, I always did enjoy watching you stumble through life,” normally he would have added something such as and catching her every time, but he no longer felt the need to express such soppy nonsense. Poetry and sensitivity had been replaced by bravado and, well, lots of flirting and other things which followed.

[Claire Wilkins]

((ooc: Well then I approve extra amounts, haha, seriously 'Sigh No More' is one of my favourite albums. <3 Yep it definitely does fit Stephan and I thought it was great!))

Yelping slightly in surprise as the young man made the falling potatoes freeze in mid-air she spun round to thank him only to see him speedily cast another spell to stop his basket falling too. "Oh gosh, I am so sorry," she began apologising profusely as she turned back to the potatoes in time to see them leap back perfectly into their stack, blushing somewhat to herself as he started talking of her as a 'damsel in distress'. "Well thank you for your help, kind sir, this damsel causes the majority of her own distress through her clumsiness though," she admitted with a soft giggle, a giggle which promptly choked in her throat as he introduced himself as Stephan and she finally looked up at her 'knight in shining armour' properly.

There was not a possibility that- no, it was him! "No... no... this isn't... you aren't here... you can't be... and I'm not... I must be dreaming," Claire said in a mystified voice, staring up at Stephan with a wide eyed expression as though she couldn't quite believe it were true. Which she couldn't, in that moment, and thus that was her excuse for why she did what she did next. Reaching out her hand to him she touched his chest, to make sure he was flesh and blood and not some kind of apparition her crazy mind had dreamt up, she promptly withdrew it and flushed scarlet as she realised that yes he was entirely solid. What embarrassed her even more was how curtly Stephan said her name and then how he teased her lightly about her clumsiness. Previously she would have nudged him playfully in the side, laughed, acted shocked and let out a gasp of displeasure, but now she said nothing and continued to look up at him wordlessly.

"I... I..." she couldn't quite figure out what she was trying to voice and so stuttered, looking much like a deer caught in the headlights, trying to form any sentence rather than act like a blabbering fool in front of him. "You're um- you're looking well. I mean that's not to say that you ever didn't look less than well... but I just mean you look... you look... you look different," she said decidedly, a crinkle of confusion in her brow as it sunk in that there really was something quite different about him now. Sure enough he still had that smile but it was more a lazy smirk than a bemused grin, it suggests he was more self-assured and bold somehow than he previously had been.

[Stephan Cullen]

((ooc: Thanks, hehe, yes me too I love all of Mumford & Sons, they are brilliant! Aww I love Claire & Stephan how I missed them, I like them even when they aren't being all couple-y.))

For a long moment, what seemed like forever, Stephan felt like he was dying, and it was an excruciatingly painful death at that. Stephan’s ability to speak seemed to return as Claire began to protest at his being there. He raised an eyebrow and began to laugh. For a brief second he felt like the ‘old Stephan’ the one who wrote poetry and love songs, the Stephan that made romantic gestures and surprise dinners.

“Well that is quite impossible seeing as I am, flesh and blood, standing right here,” he smirked as she touched his cheek. “Look you can even touch me, really touch me,” he mocked good-naturedly, grabbing her hand gently and poking himself in the chest a few times with her index finger. As he dropped her hand however his smile faltered.

That Stephan was gone. He proceeded to die all over again. His chest felt once again like it was being ripped open and for a second he couldn’t breathe. As she stumbled over her words he bowed his head ever so slightly. “It was a pleasure to save you,” he said about to walk past her when she began to speak again.

Really we are going to do this now? he thought, We are going to act like adults and talk, as if nothing happened, why don’t we talk about the bloody weather! his mind raged, infuriated with himself for still having so many feelings for her, feelings that wouldn’t go away no matter how many women he bedded. “Thanks,” he replied with a sigh relinquishing to conversing like a normal person, he had convinced himself he could, “I think,” he added with a small smirk, his smile hinted at the bemused smirk he used to have around Claire, a genuine smile. “You look exactly the same,” he said, and she was more beautiful if that were at all possible he thought. Clearing his throat slightly he asked, “How has life been treating you? What are you doing now?” as a job he had forgotten what she did. It amazed Stephan how he could forget certain things about a person like their occupation and yet he could remember the way she curled up when she slept and the perfect pitch of her laugh. He could remember every little habit Claire had as if he had learned about them yesterday, all the conversations, kisses everything was fresh in his mind. He remembered the day he had saved her, the brightness of her yellow dress, the way she had stayed with him at St Mungo’s, and the way he had tried to bolt immediately and admitted his fear of hospitals to her. He remembered the Astronomy tower which seemed their permanent meeting place, their own secret refuge. Everything flashed through his mind like a film reel. He tore his thoughts from those memories before he got to that night, the night he had died.

[Claire Wilkins]

Blushing as Stephan seemed to be teasing her if his smirk were anything to go by, Claire looked down in embarrassment and made to withdraw her hand but he had grabbed it gently and was then poking himself in the chest jokingly. "Yes, umm I can see that now, I just... I had to check," she mumbled shyly. 'The old poke in the chest' way of validating reality was infallible but Claire wasn't entirely sure whether she preferred him to be really standing in front of her; in a weird way she'd have preferred him to be a hallucination cooked up by her daydreaming mind.

As he claimed it was a pleasure to save her Claire bit her lip; his tone and choice of words suggested begrudging politeness, as though he felt obliged to say such things due to etiquette and would then be on his merry way as though the incident hadn't happened. Somehow she just couldn't let that happen, even if she then acted like a blabbering fool tripping over simple words, she still craved his company... no matter how awkward it had become. She wasn't entirely oblivious to the sighing tone of Stephan's voice, as though he considering such attempts at casual conversation futile. Truth be told, Claire felt that too, they'd been through too much together to take part in a 'how are you now?' conversation as some exes could manage. "I do?" she piped up in surprise. She might look practically the same on the outside (excepting a couple of haircuts since he'd last seen her and some new clothes) but inside it was different; she was starting to develop some self-confidence and independence, she'd had to in order to get through their break-up.

"Life has been... umm yes lovely..." she said hesitantly, meeting his gaze uncertainly since she was sure he of all people would see the telltale darkness that momentarily passed over her otherwise gentle smile, a darkness that suggested quite the opposite. "Job-wise you mean? Oh um to be honest this fortnight I've been taking some time off, just for... personal reasons, but I should be back to Mungo's in the next couple of days. I'm a Welcome Witch," she added, in case he'd forgotten the job she'd been hoping to get, the job she'd had an interview for the day before their break-up. She'd never had the chance to tell him she'd got the job, he'd probably been halfway across the world when she'd found out the week following it. "How about you? I heard from a reliable source that you're going into the Auror department... I mean not to say that I've been prying... no I just Andy's uncle works there and... well she mentioned it," she blurted out quickly, not wanting it to seem like she'd been stalking him, or talk of him at least. Andy herself had admitted that she'd been uncertain whether to tell her; she hadn't been sure whether mentioning Stephan would upset Claire or not. If anyone was 'the bad guy' in the whole break-up fiasco it was most certainly Claire and she'd never forgiven herself, it was unlikely she ever would, it would seem, and she wouldn't be surprised if Stephan in fact didn't wish to be amicable about it all.

[Stephan Cullen]

A part of Stephan felt bitter, angry even at her answer. Lovely. Life had been anything but lovely for Stephan. He had never wanted Claire to suffer. He still didn’t. Even while he grappled with the idea that she was perfectly fine without him and better off for it he would imagine, yet the word cut at his heart as if a cheese grater had been pressed against the muscle and was slowly whittling away at his left ventricle.

Between the cheese grating and her cheery tone Stephan hadn’t realised that his face was set in a stony slightly off-putting expression. He composed his features to look more pleasing and less ‘please get me the hell out of her.’ Stephan hadn’t seen the darkness in her expression, he had been too busy focusing on his own melancholy. Real-life life and death sort of stuff. He had almost died at least three times and he wasn’t even a bloody Auror. He really didn’t understand their willingness to put themselves into such death defying situations. There was always a possibility that you might actually die and that wasn’t appealing at all in Stephan’s mind. Of course, he didn’t feel that way the first time he nearly died. It was right after Claire and he had broken up and he came in contact with quite a number of Deatheaters. He hadn’t been afraid of dying that night, and he probably would have if some crusty curmudgeon of an Auror hadn’t come in and saved his arse.

“A Welcome Witch, that’s right,” he smiled more comfortably now, “It suits you,” he said kindly, honestly. A slowly forming smile curved the edges of his mouth upwards into an almost mocking smirk. “Really? Well then I suppose you heard correctly. I am looking into becoming a potions expert,” he shrugged as if this would illustrate his point. “Not an Auror,” he added, as if this held some sort of significance.

((ooc: Woohoo I made a reasonable sized post rather than a novel-length one, okay so it is still a wee bit long but not as bad as the last few, eh? hehe.))

[Claire Wilkins]

Noticing his rather stony glare and dreading that she already knew why he looked so irritated, "Umm... Stephan... don't take this the wrong way but... are you alright?" Claire asked tentatively, her hand half raised then as she moved to place her hand gently on his arm but at the last minute she realised what she'd been about to unconsciously do and retracted her hand hastily.

"Thanks. Yes well, they said I was made for the job so... looks like Mungo's agree with you," she smiled, but it was a tad forced and she let out a little soft sigh at how awkward this was. Gazing up at him she nodded, "Yes, expert of course, not Auror, that's what I meant. I'm glad of that," she admitted and then added quickly, "It's just... well you're a genius at potions and... um well Aurors don't... don't particularly have a strong sense of self-preservation," she left it at that, not trusting herself to say 'I'm glad you're not becoming an Auror because you might get yourself into mortal peril and I know I couldn't continue living quite contentedly with the knowledge that you were fighting dark Wizards on a regular basis'. "You see Mr Michalka mentioned it to Andy and Andy... told me... after some coercing..." she confessed, a tad shyly, and then she looked away from those searching eyes of his and down at her sandaled feet.

Struggling for conversation and hating herself every minute for feeling as such, Claire "So... um... wow... uh how was your trip?" she asked. As soon as the words were out of her mouth she looked deflated, saddened that awkward conversation like this was what they had come to. She could plainly see Stephan would never forgive her, he'd moved on and was clearly doing alright for himself and did not wish to speak to her all that much.

[Stephan Cullen]

Stephan nodded; his hazel eyes shifted toward her hand as it reached out toward his arm and then retreated again.

He laughed at her next words however, “Your telling me,” he smirked, “I knew this one Auror, you’d think he wanted to die more than me, the man had not gage for self-preservation,” he joked good-naturedly and for once it felt like no time had passed between them, it felt the same as it used to be. Though that moment quickly passed and he sobered once more.

“Really, is that so?” he said slowly, a smirky smile beginning to form on his lips and he gazed at her teasingly, “So you’ve been checking up on me have you,” he asked playfully.

“Great,” he shrugged reverting to one-word syllables again. “It was filled with a lot pyramids, beaches, and lots of site seeing,” and loads of deatheaters, he thought to himself.

[Claire Wilkins]

Claire noticed his eyes flicker down to the hand she was hastily retracting and her cheeks reddened with an encroaching blush because he'd noticed it. It was an unconscious gesture, Claire was quite touchy-feely by nature and it would be natural for her to place a soft hand on someone's arm in a considerate way as she asked if they were alright but somehow it felt wrong under the circumstances.

"Oh? Anyone I know?" she joked easily with a smile, "Not may of them do and I can safely say that while only knowing one man who works in the Auror Office. I don't know whether it's bravery or just thinking they're invincible... which I wouldn't be surprised if they were, really," she admitted conversationally. Then, staring down at her feet as though they were the most interesting things imaginable, the blonde avoided meeting Stephan's gaze because she knew he would be looking at her in his teasing manner. "No... no I haven't... I just... Andy mentioned it... and I... didn't stop her telling me about it," she shrugged, tentatively shifting her gaze upwards to him once more where she noted the playful glint in his eyes. But much too quickly it reverted back to awkward conversation about Stephan's trip and she slumped slightly but nodded along as he spoke, "Well... good, I'm glad, glad it was relaxing and... uh cultured and educational, it must have been amazing to see the pyramids and everything? Did you go to Italy? Italy's my favourite place to go on holiday, it's so beautiful-"she trailed off somewhat as she anxiously entwined her fingers together and then apart.

Sighing softly, "Look, I just... it wasn't like I was stalking you," she said, she had to explain and the words came tripping out of he mouth before she could even stop them, "It's just that I was worried about you and... despite what you may think about me based on how we... parted... look I cared about you, I do care about you, I just wanted to know that you were alright while you were off around the world. And I know I have absolutely no right to know that because... because of what I said and I'm sorry-" she broke off, her eyes widening slightly as she realised she'd started to say what an idiot she'd been for saying what she said. She couldn't get into this now, not now when he seemed so... different and a tad hostile towards her... he clearly didn't want in on this conversation and, really, she'd missed any chance she did have with Stephan and ought to leave him to get on with his day and the rest of his life. Somehow she couldn't, though.

[Stephan Cullen]

((ooc: Sorry this took forever! But I wanted to finish this up. Let me know what you want Claire and Stephan to do next?))

“I doubt it,” Stephan replied with a slight shrug. He hoped she never knew him; Owen Mason was one of those tall, dark and handsome types. Good girls seemed to fall at his feet for obvious reasons.

“Yeah,” he muttered and then gazed down at her his teasing smile crossing his face. “Oh, I see,” he smirked at the idea, though inside seeing her cut him deeply, he could smell the scent of her hair but not touch it or kiss her lips, or tell her he loved her. He feared that he would never stop loving her, or that he would truly love anyone else.

“Yes, I did,” he mentioned, and thought of her ever second he was there which was why he did not stay as long as he would have liked in Italy.

“Worried?” his tone was a bit cold and sarcastic. “Well…” he looked sidelong at some tomatoes and pressed his lips together in thought for a brief moment, “You have no need to be worried about me.” He wanted to say you had no right, but he really couldn’t bear fighting with her. Stephan momentarily looked at his hands as he fingered his wand shifting it from one hand to the other. “Really, you don’t need to care about me,” he said, his tone may have been a tad hostile, “And you don’t need to worry anymore, and you shouldn’t be sorry, you have nothing to be sorry about,” he told her abruptly. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get a few more things and be off to work,” he was lying, this was his day off but she didn’t know that.