I need a little space, just on my own

[Professor Carlyle]

David Carlyle, with all of his classes over for the day and a hard day's work of enriching the mind of the future generation done, was now avoiding as many people as humanly possible by holing up in the Astronomy Tower. It was a tactic that often worked because the only time students gave that place a thought was if they had midnight Astronomy lessons or if they wanted somewhere to 'canoodle'- and it was mostly the latter it would seem if Norah's commentary about the amount of couples she'd caught up there was anythign to go by. David however was neither a student nor looking to 'canoodle'- instead he just wanted a little quiet, and the abandoned room of the Tower provided that luxury wonderfully.

Having sank down to the bottom of the stone wall, David leaned easily back against it and closed his eyes momentarily, as though it would help him to dutifully ignore the messy stack of unmarked papers beside him which desperately needed attending to, especially now that he had no other committments and the peace and quiet to mark them. His teaching hadn't been quite so fun or laid-back lately and he hated himself for it, but he'd took Ned's advice and actually started assigning homework, acting like a proper, responsible Professor rather than a student that had been allowed to teach lessons for a day, and, most importantly, he'd avoided a certain student at all costs. He hated himself for it though, anyone and everyone could see 'Prof Carlyle' just wasn't his usual carefree, over-hyper, downright-embarassing self any more.

With all this in mind he groaned in annoyance but merely kept his eyes closed, completely oblivious to the world around him too as he concentrated on the sound of his breathing rather than the muffled, far-off sound of students in the grounds way below the tower. As such, he didn't hear anyone coming up the stairs at all and he remained effectively 'blind' to their approach due to his closed eyes.

((ooc: Anyone? ))

[Janis Holloway]

Clutching the shoebox close to her chest as she climbed the stairs to the Astronomy Tower, Janis looked around to make sure no one was following her before she made the final climb, being quiet as she could so as not to attract any attention.

Sitting herself in the middle of the floor, Janis opened the lid of the box slowly and pulled out the first picture from the pile and looked at it sadly, she had stolen this box from under her mums bed because she'd always been told not to look at it and now she could see why. The box was filled with pictures of her 'father' and letters from him. Her mum had always told her that her father hadnt cared about her and that she'd never known where he was but Janis could tell fromt hese letters that her mum had had a lot of contact with the man over the years and the fact her mum had lied to her hurt more than anything.

Taking a framed picture out of the box of her parents from when they first met, Janis looked at it with sad eyes before noticing a reflection in the glass, she wasnt alone in the room.
Turning slowly, she looked at the Muggle Studies Professor with tear filled eyes and sniffed, "Im sorry Professor, I didnt see you there...I'll go back to my dorm" she spoke in a small shy voice, Janis may be best friends with Lillian Turner but unlike her outgoing friend, she hated to break rules.

(ooc, if you'd rather someone else just say)

[Professor Carlyle]

((ooc: Oo of course not, Janis is fab! Also, thank you for the book recommendation via Tumblr, I'm definitely going to check it out and yes, you're right, haha I do kinda like me a good ol' Mr Darcy. ))

David’s eyes suddenly snapped open once more as he realised he wasn’t quite as alone in the room as he thought he was. His gaze falling on Janis Holloway sat in the middle of the room looking at some kind of framed photograph which she pulled from a box at her feet, David felt like he was probably intruding on something entirely personal and he’d learnt recently that ‘personal’ + him + student equalled ‘not great’. But this was an entirely different situation and so his expression soon became comforting as the girl realised he was sitting there and, rather tearfully by the looks of things, sniffed an apology. “Nonsense, I am hardly going to give you a detention for being here, am I?” was his reply because, of course, he was one of the group of ‘teachers who hated giving detentions because it made them uncool and unpopular with students’.

Waving her apology away he smiled sympathetically, “Are you alright, Ms Holloway?” he asked in a concerned manner, getting to his feet then, abandoning the stack of essays beside him completely, in favour of plonking himself down once more nearer Janis, pausing before looking sideways at her. “Look, I know I’m not exactly an Agony Aunt but, is there anything I can help you with? A listening ear? Or, alternatively, someone to punch if you’re the type that likes to dispel their emotions that way?” he offered lightly. He suspected most students wouldn’t exactly take a teacher up on the offer of a ‘listening ear’ but he offered all the same upon seeing her teary gaze which both saddened and concerned him.

[Janis Holloway]

Nodding her head as he asked if she was ok, she tried to stop herself from crying but she couldnt, she was upset and she'd opened those floodgates and there was no closing them now.
"My father...I met my father" she choked out, wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her jumper as she passed the framed picture of her parents to Professor Carlyle, sitting back she looked sadly at the box before looking at him with a guilty look. "I stole that from my mum's room, I was always told never to look in it and now I know why. My mum always told me she knew who my Father was but she didnt ever know where to find him. She told me he didnt want to know anything about me." she shook her head, taking a deep breath as she calmed herself down, talking in a low, quiet voice.

"They've been writing to one another for 16 years, she sends him pictures of me every few months. He sends her money. She's having sex with him again" she stated bluntly, before blushing furiously. "Im just so...he's nothing like I expected him to be. He's horrible" she shrugged her shoulders, she'd always hoped her father would be warm, kind and loving but all she'd got from their meeting was he was a sleazebag who had no qualms about lying.

(ooc. Sorry I took forever!)

[Professor Carlyle]

((ooc: No worries! Damnit, I can't say that now without thinking of Vaughn saying it on Community... that show has clearly taken over my life haha.))

“Let it all out,” he said quietly as she seemed to be trying not to cry, but failing it had to be said. “Your father?” he prompted, nodding in understanding as she passed him a framed picture. “Ah,” David exhaled as she explained about the box and how her mum had lied, saying her dad didn’t want to know anything about her. Glancing at the girl in confusion as she talked of money and sex he smiled sympathetically, in a friendly manner, as she seemed to blush deeply having realised she’d just admitted that. “Does your mum know you‘ve seen this box?” he asked cautiously. “Ah, so, what did you expect him to be like, Janis?” he asked her then, “Was he painted to be something or-?”

“Have you considered…” David paused, itching his cheek as he usually did when he felt awkward or uncertain. On this occasion, it was because he was unsure whether to voice such a personal opinion and story to Janis- he decided she definitely needed some words of comfort. “Janis, have you considered that your mother was trying, albeit mistakenly perhaps, to protect you from your father? If he’s as horrible as you claim, and I hear you’re a pretty good judge of character, then… maybe she just didn’t want you to get hurt.” Looking to her in sympathy he continued quietly, “Look, my mum took me and my siblings away from my father when I was 16. We all left and moved to Glasgow and… bizarrely it was the best thing she ever did because he was a bast-…” he sighed slightly, cutting himself off before swearing, and then instead shook his head, “Sorry, I’ll rephrase that… let’s just say my dad was a man who didn’t even understand the word ‘morality’. He slept with other women, drank, abused those he should have loved and, she was scared, but she wanted to stay with him, be a family for our sake. They weren’t good for each other and as far as I’m concerned he’s not good enough for anyone, he doesn’t deserve a woman who loves him. My mum ‘breaking’ that family was the best thing she did for us and I’m eternally grateful that she took me away from my dad because, he was truly horrible.”

Looking concernedly down at her he concluded, “All mothers want to protect their children, I’m sure she wanted to protect you, but… well… I clearly do not know the intricacies of your uh family life but I would say you were certainly old enough to know the truth about your father without having to go hunting for pictures and letters. You can protect yourself after all, can’t you Ms Holloway?” he asked, a light lift to his voice at his question- she seemed more than mature enough to meet her real father without needing to be protected by anyone.

[Janis Holloway]

Janis shook her head, she couldnt look at the box now, she felt so guilty for having taken it and it hadnt made her feel any better at all. On the contrary, it had made her feel even worse about the whole situation.
"She might know by now though I havent had a howler so Im guessing so far Im off the hook. When she's angry, she's angry" she stressed the word 'angry', her mum wasnt one to hide her feelings even when she should.

"Part of me always knew he'd be horrible. My mum told him she was pregnant and he left her, he walked away and left her. I never knew a thing about him no matter how much I asked, she'd never tell me a thing apart from 'he doesnt want to know'" she imitated her mums voice, before falling silent as she listened to Professor Carlyle's story about his childhood.
"Your Dad sounds like a horrible man, like really horrible" she nodded her head in agreement, she couldnt be sure that her father would be quite so evil but the way he easily lied to her and the fact her Uncle Simon hated him, it just proved her point that he wasnt a good person at all.

"I know he sent money and got pictures but not one of these letters prove he cared about me, not one. They all seem so formal and straight forward and I wouldnt be surprised if he sent money to shut my mum up. I met him, I walked in at home and my Uncle & Aunt were there and I could tell Uncle Si didnt like him and then I asked who he was and he lied to my face. Even when I guessed it he lied to me and you know...he didnt look like a man who'd been deprived of something they wanted" she shook her head, "He never wanted me and he still doesnt. I shouldnt waste my tears on a scumbag like him" she set her jaw as she sat up straighter, trying to look as determined as she was trying to make out.

(ooc. Blaaaah, sorry she's a bit rubbish )

[Professor Carlyle]

Noticing how she seemed to avoid looking at the incriminating box he nodded in understanding, "Yes, I've uh heard that about your mother, she's quite... impassioned when angry, aye?" he asked tentatively. "Did it make you feel any better, seeing those photos?" he prompted quietly, not wanting to upset the girl even more but strongly believing she should talk out this whole mess with someone and that someone, in that moment, would appear to be him.

"That's... well that's terrible, I'm not gonna lie," David admitted as she explained about her father walking out. By nature he was an optimist and so his mind immediately suggested, upon hearing this tale, 'Well maybe he had other reasons for leaving? Maybe he was worried he couldn't be a father and thought it would be better for you to not have him than to have a rubbish parent?' "Aye? She was trying to protect you, definitely... she tried to tell you as little as possible about him because... well maybe it hurt her to talk about him?" he suggested simply.

Shrugging lightly as she said his dad sounded horrible he snorted softly, "He was, he is even... that's just the way it goes I suppose," he replied. "The natural optimist in me likes to think he's just misunderstood but, no, I vividly remember my 10 year old self watching him stagger home at some ungodly hour, drunk out of his mind, pushing my mum roughly out of the way when she tried to help him, proclaiming she was worthless... it... well it wasn't great to say the least but hey, ho, she saw sense in the end," he concluded, trying to be cheerful because, really, the least thing this conversation needed was more misery.

David listened carefully as Janis talked of meeting her father, "Uncle Si would be... Simon Beck-Wickham, right? I know your um Aunt Jenny a little, friend-of-friend etcetera etcetera... she tells me he has pretty sound judgements of people, usually. I... well Janis, appearances can be deceiving... perhaps he thought it best to pretend and let you decide whether or not you wanted to know him further? Have you talked to anyone about this, your Uncle Simon, your Aunt Jenny? I'm sure they'd want to know if you were feeling so... emotional about this," David said with a sad, sympathetic smile- he hated seeing anyone, let alone a girl so lovely and nice as Janis, this upset. "While I think you should perhaps talk to someone about him, I think your 'not wasting tears' policy is a good idea, strength, determination, conviction and what not," he said, "Good, good," with a firm nod of his head as if deciding that she was right on that one. At loss as to how he could possibly help now he paused for a moment before pulling out a box from his pocket, "Well, in times of 'I have nothing to say'-ness, I always rely on sugary sweets... jelly bean?" he offered with a smile.

((ooc: aww she's absolutely not, I love Janis, poor girl, going through this. ))

[Janis Holloway]

"Thats a really nice way to put it, impassioned when angry" Janis couldnt help but smile, her mum was just downright unbearable when she was angry, so to hear it being put so nicely was amusing. Shaking her head, she looked up at Professor Carlyle, "They didnt make me feel any better, if anything they made me feel worse" she admitted before tilting her head to the side with a thoughtful expression as he suggested that maybe her mum couldnt talk about it.

"If she was so hurt though, why would she sleep with him again? Why would she write to him and tell him all about me? Why would she accept his stinking money?" she asked in an angry tone, not angry at Professor Carlyle but at her mum & 'dad'.

Nodding her head briskly, "Uncle Simon, yeah. I cant bother them with this, it's too awkward to talk about and they lied to me too. They knew who he was and they didnt tell me." she huffed slightly, she didnt want to admit that they might have just found out prior to her finding out. "Id love a jellybean" she nodded her head, as she held her hand out, thankful of the Professor for letting her vent her frustrations.

((ooc. Sorry, I forgot about this!))