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Post by Lewis Michalka on Aug 13, 2009 11:40:12 GMT -6
((ooc: Hope this is okay, I just left it in the Workplace forum since they'll probably be somewhere safe on the mission yeah? The title is shamelessly borrowed from the title of a Dashboard Confessional album, haha, I couldn't think of a suitable one!))
Lewis distractedly gazed at the piece of paper in his hand, the blueprints Fiona had handed him with a triumphant grin the day previously, and tried his best to at least appear as though he was studying them. In reality his look was vague and seemed as though he was miles away, in his own thoughts. Several times already he'd looked up at Fiona, or indeed the other Aurors earlier that day, and realised they'd been waiting on him to answer a question they'd just asked him. A question he hadn't heard of course and he had to apologise quickly, claiming 'I didn't get much sleep last night, I'm miles away, what did you say?'. Most of them bought it but seemed confused- Lewis was never distracted, he was almost always so rigidly focused on his work that it was worrying how he just could not be distracted from it, at all.
Looking up then he saw the expectant gaze of the person with him, Fiona, and he blinked slightly. Clearing his throat he nodded, "Great, yeah, I agree," he answered without even knowing if she'd even asked a question at all yet alone what it was if she had! He at least hoped, most likely in vain, that she had not noticed. He couldn't afford to be distracted on this mission- being distracted in their line of work was naturally dangerous for the cause and the people involved- and as much as he told himself this, he'd found that throughout the day he kept drifting off without realising it until it was too late.
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Post by Fiona Hathaway on Aug 13, 2009 11:56:55 GMT -6
((ooc: It was perfect!))
Fiona was talking again, but once again Lewis didn’t hear her. For anyone else this might be a usual occurrence, but for Lewis it was unheard of. As he agreed in a non-committal sort of way Fiona sighed exasperatedly taking a seat beside him. Setting a fresh cut of coffee in front of him she asked, “Alright, I know you hate those,” she said tucking the candies back into her pocket, “So what’s wrong? Spill it?” she said in an almost demanding sort of way but with a soft edge to her tone and a friendly smile. One she didn’t show to anyone else but Lewis of course!
She looked expectantly at him, as if he might actually tell her what was bother him. “You know, being distracted can get you killed in this line of work, so you better tell me now what’s going on, otherwise I’m going to make them send you back,” she threatened pointing a fleeting finger at the Aurors that were supposedly ‘in charge’ of this mission. Fiona still gulped down coffee as if it was water to keep from sleeping but that was beside the point. Their physiatrist or whoever he was had given her a clean bill of health so as far as she was concerned she was just peachy.
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Post by Lewis Michalka on Aug 13, 2009 12:11:29 GMT -6
Looking at Fiona, forcing himself to focus, he looked confused once more and shook his head, "I'm sorry, what?" he asked and then defeatedly shut his eyes for a moment, biting his lip. Breathing steadily, concentrating on just this for a moment, he opened his eyes once more to meet her friendly look of concern. "Thanks for the coffee," he said with a small forced smile, taking a sip of it for want of doing something to take his mind of what he'd been so distracted by all day. "I'm fine, sorry. I just... I'm fine... just tired is all," he answered quickly though even to his ears it sounded like a poor attempt at an excuse.
"I know it can, I won't be killed, and you wouldn't dare," Lewis answered each part of her sentence before shaking his head to himself upon seeing her look that quite clearly showed she would if she had to. Taking another sip of coffee he added, "Seriously, I'm fine," attempting to put more conviction into what he was saying and also attempting more of a genuine smile. However he'd used the word 'fine' several times already in the past couple of minutes and he was anything but it, and he was painfully aware of the fact Fiona could quite clearly see through him and had noticed that.
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Post by Fiona Hathaway on Aug 13, 2009 12:26:37 GMT -6
“That’s a complete load of crap,” she replied with a small snort. Folding her arms across her chest Fiona gave him a challenging look, “You wanna bet?” she asked with a threateningly raised eyebrow. Even with his conviction Fiona still didn’t believe him. The only good and bad thing about being partners was that they couldn’t lie to each other, at least most of the time.
Her stern expression melted into one of friendly concern as she placed a hand gently over his. “Honestly Lewis, tell me what’s wrong?” her voice had dropped to a whisper as she gazed at him. “No one else has to know, but… I’m not kidding about sending you back if you’re going to act like this. It’s not safe for either of us,” she said in a consoling tone.
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Post by Lewis Michalka on Aug 13, 2009 12:42:19 GMT -6
"It's not it's true-" Lewis started to assure he but then seeing her signature challenging glare he didn't even bother finishing his sentence, there was no point. "Okay, so you would claim something was wrong with me and tell them to send me home, but I won't let you do that," he told her simply, shaking his head, "I just need to get my thought sorted and I have so I'll be better now, I swear," he said, trying to put real meaning into his words but finding it increasingly difficult as her threatening tone then turned into genuine concern.
"I..." he opened his mouth to tell her the truth and then glanced furtively at the other Aurors talking a little way away, gesturing to her with his hand to turn away from them with him. "Tess and I... we uh talked last night... a real talk and... look there's no easy way to say this. Tess knows about you know 'that night' as it were," he told her in a hushed and hurried tone, "It won't affect your friendship though or our marriage ultimately because... well she's been doing the same," he explained with a soft snort, "Not sleeping with you, I mean... she's uh... not... not as faithful as the vows kind of say you should be," he finished, looking steadily to Fiona with an almost defeated, downtrodden kind of expression flashing in his eyes.
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Post by Fiona Hathaway on Aug 13, 2009 13:25:04 GMT -6
Fiona snorted, “Try me,” she challenged. When Fiona set her mind to something there was no stopping her. She simply raised an eyebrow at his response, as if to say ‘Really?’
She waited patiently for him to give in. As patiently as she could that is. Turning away from the other Aurors with Lewis she listened carefully. Every word cut like a knife into her. ‘She knows! How could he!’ were the first thoughts that sprang to mind in an angry rage, though her expression remained calm. Then she felt a sort of agony that lurched along like a broken motorcar. She could see how much it hurt him. The fact his wife had cheated on him. Everything seemed to click into place at once, all those times Tess had decided to “work late” or brushed off their girls-night-out for “important business.”
The colour drained from Fiona’s face all at once. “I… she… it…” Fiona tried to console him, but the words wouldn’t come, she was in completely shock. How could it have gone so wrong? They were the perfect couple in Fiona’s eyes. “I’m sorry Lew,” she whispered with a small sweet smile, trying her best to console him. “It will be alright. If anyone can survive anything, it’s the two of you,” she said encouragingly, “You’re perfect together,” she added, “Maybe you both needed to stray a little bit to know what you really wanted was right in front of you,” she said, meaning Tess and Lewis needed each other not the other way around, though after she said it she realised how it could be misconstrued.
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Post by Lewis Michalka on Aug 13, 2009 13:40:49 GMT -6
Looking at Fiona then he knew any odd occurrences involving Tess 'working late' were also clicking into place in her mind. Nodding to her he spoke, "It all makes sense now doesn't it?" he said simply. "Technically she was at work until late but neither of the parties involved were doing much 'working'," he stated dejectedly. "He's someone she works with, apparently it's hard being married to a wizard when you're a muggle, even though I don't overuse magic at home and I was straight with her all along about magic and she never expressed any disdain against it before," he countered and then snorted softly, "It's a pitiful excuse on her part. That's what I told her last night and then she told me the clincher... she said she wasn't sure whether she loved me still. She did love me when we got married but now wonders whether we were being young and stupid and only stayed together for the kids. That's bollocks for me, I married her because I loved her and to find out now that..." the rest of his sentence faded as he shook his head slightly. "Anyway she wants some time, a 'break' to see other people properly and see if she misses me. If she misses me, then she must still love me, or so she suggested anyway when she told me she was moving out. If she doesn't miss me then there's no love left apparently... bollocks really but, I can't stop her from doing what she wants to do."
Averting his gaze from hers for a moment he found himself speaking to the coffee cup in his hands, "Don't be... sorry for us I mean. I love her, I love her just as much, if not more, than the day we got married but I'm not selfish enough to guilt her into staying with me. I just... a sign about her not being entirely happy with me would have been appreciated you know?" he suggested quietly. Then, suddenly looking up at her his brow furrowed as he replayed her words, confused at what he thought she was implying. "I don't... you mean..." Lewis started many sentences and then shook his head, shaking that idea away and sighed. "Maybe it's for the best..." he murmured weakly, no conviction at all in his tone but it was the shock of Tess' sudden outburst the night previously that did it.
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Post by Fiona Hathaway on Aug 13, 2009 13:57:03 GMT -6
Fiona wanted to cry, or hit something. She was really hoping their mark or whatever showed up soon so she could hex the living daylights out them. Anger and agony knotted up inside her. The most terrifying feeling was the deep rooted guilt that constantly hung over her head. Guilt not only for what they did, but for what she was thinking at that moment. Even though her head scolded her heart for what it wanted. A part of her heart was crushed knowing Lewis was desperately in love with his wife. At the same time she was enraged with Tess, how could she say such a thing. She knew Tess loved her husband dearly and had no idea why they were doing this to each other.
Throughout their conversation Fiona remained silent, listening as Lewis spoke. “You don’t have to,” she whispered almost annoyed. “She’ll come back to you. Trust me, she’ll come back. Tess will get her head sorted, realise what she’s missing, and come back to you,” she encouraged as if this was a certainty. Realising what he thought she had meant she said suddenly, “What?! No, I mean… you know, you two, not… not,” her voice trailed off and she looked morosely into her coffee cup. The whole in her chest felt freshly burned again, gaping wide in all it’s emptiness as if it were laughing at her. “No it isn’t!” she muttered firmly, her brownish-green eyes glaring up at him again. There was enough conviction in her voice for the both of them. “You will get back together with Tess, if I have anything to say about it!” she concluded.
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Post by Lewis Michalka on Aug 13, 2009 15:41:03 GMT -6
Looking curiously at Fiona then he asked quietly, "Are you sure about that?" he smiled weakly and nodded, "I hope she gets her head sorted out so then I feel more within my rights to be irritated with her and what she did. She doesn't see the distinction that I slept with you once, once when we were both... confused... she slept with this guy repeatedly. For weeks after we slept together I always felt a little bit of guilt when I kissed, and well you know, Tess... and to think she's been doing a similar thing for months... I just..." he shook his head. "I can't understand it, how did she not feel remorse, does she really not care for me enough to feel guilty when she betrays my trust? She said something about me working late and not being around and... I don't understand she's never mentioned it before... if she'd just... I might have done something about it," Lewis admitted. He loved his job with all his heart but if Tess had truly had objections to it he would have changed roles in the department, go back to research or something, so he wouldn't always be away from his wife.
Biting his lip slightly as she tried to recover herself, explaining in a more confusing way what she meant, he nodded, "I know what you meant Fiona," he assured her with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, far from it in fact. "You can't force someone to be with you," he muttered in response to her firm conclusion, "I'm not going to force Tess into this, if she wants a... if she wants a..." he struggled to say the word 'divorce' and shook his head, "If she doesn't want to be married to me any more then that's her choice. Obviously I will 'fight' for her, if it comes to it, I'll show her how much I love her. I just hope this guy she's been sleeping with knows what a great woman she is, and he had better have been treating her right because if he hasn't I will personally kill him. I can't believe I didn't see this coming... I feel like such a... such a..." he struggled for a word yet again and sighed heavily, shaking his head to brush it away, instead taking another sip of coffee.
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Post by Fiona Hathaway on Aug 13, 2009 16:21:56 GMT -6
Smiling at him, Fiona was sure of it, “I’m sure,” she said in a reassuring tone that left no room for speculation. Fiona gave him a sympathetic look, “I know you would have,” she told him. He would do anything for his wife. Fiona wished she had that luxury. To care about someone that much… to have someone to care about that much. Though in truth she did… he just didn’t care about her in that way.
Immediately she tossed these thoughts into the back of her mind and chided herself for even griping over her empty house, dead fiancé, and the man before her whom she’d give her life for a thousand times over. Fiona hated it when his smile didn’t reach his eyes. That’s what she loved most about him, the way his cheerful smile touched the corners of his eyes. “How could she not want to be with you? She’s just confused, she’ll come round,” Fiona insisted. Fiona shook her head, “You don’t have to say it, because it won’t happen. I’m sure of it.”
“Listen to me Lew,” Fiona put her hands on his shoulders, gazing into his eyes like she’d readied him for their first mission as partners. It was the first time she’d ever said anything nice about him, “Tess will come back to you. There is no doubt in my mind about it. She loves you, always have, and always will, alright?” she told him. With another sigh she patted him on the shoulder, “Why don’t you go… go see your kids, I can take care of this one,” she said meaning the mission. “It’s positively boring anyways sitting around here,” she joked good naturedly, “Why don’t you go see Kat, that should cheer you up?” she suggested, “I’ll cover for you, aye?”
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Post by Lewis Michalka on Aug 13, 2009 16:35:11 GMT -6
Lewis chuckled then, rather dry and humourlessly, but it was a laugh nonetheless and he nodded, "At least one of us is sure about something then," he remarked lightly. "I really would, I'd do anything for her, I'd die for her. But then again the list of people I'd die for is rather long so I'd have to have a cat's nine lives to get through all of it to prove it," he spoke simply, almost good humouredly, though what he said was true and Fiona was one of those people he'd die for.
"I don't know, you tell me," Lewis replied with a shrug, "Maybe I'm just not the man I used to be, maybe I've changed, maybe she's changed?" he offered a few options before nodding, "I hope so. And I'm glad someone is just as determined as I am that I should be with Tess always, thanks Fee," he said quietly with more of an attempt at a proper smile as she put her hands on his shoulders seriously, like she'd done many moons ago on their first mission as partners.
Nodding slowly at her words he held her gaze unwaveringly, "Alright," he agreed. Though, suddenly as she patted him on the shoulder and said she could take care of the mission herself he suddenly shook his head, "No!" he exclaimed and then seeing some of the other Aurors (who were already suspicious enough of their little private discussion) look their way he returned to a hushed tone of voice again. "No I... I need to work... it'll keep my mind occupied. If I don't work I'll just keep thinking about it over and over, and analysing everything Tess has ever said to me in the past to decide if it should have been a hint, and then I'll start blaming myself and her, and get angry and frustrated and that's not healthy at all," he concluded with a firm look now. "Besides, didn't I promise when we were made partners that I'd always be there to save your arse, in case you ever needed saving that is?" he suggested jokingly.
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Post by Fiona Hathaway on Aug 13, 2009 16:55:28 GMT -6
“Oh, I’m always sure, you just never listen,” Fiona responded with a smirky smile trying to bring some lightness back into their conversation. “And I’m sure she knows that,” she added reassuringly, patting his hand again in a friendly manner. “She might just need a little time to remember it,” added Fiona encouragingly.
“Hmm, well you can be awfully damn annoying in the morning sometimes,” she teased with a sweet smile before being serious again. Then she snorted, “Trust me, you haven’t changed. In the many years I’ve known you, I doubt anyone has changed less than you have,” she said again in a mockingly teasing sort of way. Fee elbowed him playfully, “You’re welcome,” she said with a kind smile.
A bit shocked by his exclamation, “Alright, you don’t need to have a hissy fit,” she replied jokingly as some of the other Aurors turned their way. “What are you looking at?” she scoffed, her glare quickly turning their heads in the other direction. Fiona finally put her hands on his to stop him from babbling on, “Now, lets not start blaming ourselves. You aren’t at any fault, and she shouldn’t be either at the moment,” she said in an almost mothering tone, “Fine, I’ll let you stay,” she finished as if she had control over the mission. “Pfft… well that would require that I actually needed saving,” she said with a mockingly raised eyebrow as if to say he was the one who always needed saving.
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Post by Lewis Michalka on Aug 13, 2009 17:16:18 GMT -6
"I hope she knows that. If she doesn't she's an idiot, frankly," Lewis stated then with a firm nod of his head. He truly would do anything for Tess, even if that meant leaving her alone and getting a divorce. He probably cared too much about her, that was the problem, however unlikely it sounded. "Oh god," he suddenly spoke and groaned, "How are we supposed to keep the kids away from this? Kat's not an idiot, she'll know something's wrong the minute she sees me, and Kyle will probably already know somehow."
"Oh really?" he asked with a pretend glare, or an attempt at one at least, before shrugging it off, "Not everyone can be the morning person you are," he replied, a hint of sarcasm at this before looking seriously at Fiona as she told him he hadn't changed. "I don't know whether to be flattered or offended by that," he answered finally with a little confused look before shaking his head, "But thank you all the same."
"I'm not having a hissy fit!" he argued back and then a smile twitched at the corners of his lips as Fiona sent a signature glare towards the other Aurors. "We really should keep them on our side you know not scare them away with your glare," Lewis suggested with a grateful look at her as she rested her hands on his comfortingly. Taking her hand in his he squeezed it in an affectionate kind of 'thank you' before picking up his coffee again and taking a sip, trying his best now to focus 100% on the mission, or at least to focus 0% on Tess. "You know, call me old-fashioned but I like to imagine inside every woman is a secret damsel who, no matter how self sufficient and independent, would like a man to save her should she need it," he stated seriously but then found himself smiling again, genuinely this time.
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Post by Fiona Hathaway on Aug 13, 2009 17:28:57 GMT -6
Fiona gave a small nod. She understood and agreed with him, but there was nothing she could really say on the subject, other than she hoped Tess knew, which really didn’t help the situation or boost his confidence. “Hey, its okay,” she coaxed, “Just leave that to me. I have loads of excuses as to why you look like you might get ill and vomit all over them,” she reassured with a slightly mischievous look. “They’ll never suspect a thing,” she joked trying to get Lewis to smile just a little bit, but was honestly wracking her brain trying to think of a good excuse.
At his words Fiona glared at him, more playfully than usual considering his downtrodden state. “Yes, because I’m such a morning person,” she snorted at the idea. Then she gave him a ponderous expression as if she was really thinking about it, “Hmm… a bit of both actually,” she said with a smile.
Fiona shrugged unconcerned about the other Aurors’ feelings. “It’s not my problem that they’re nosey buggers.” Fiona laughed at his wish that inside every woman was a hopeful damsel in distress, “Yeah, I’d like to see that one day,” she scoffed at the idea, and smiled brightly at his genuine smile. Suddenly there was activity amongst the other Aurors. “Oh, look we might have something,” she mentioned casually.
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Post by Lewis Michalka on Aug 13, 2009 17:40:26 GMT -6
Lewis looked curiously at her as she said she'd take care of it. "Really? Are any of these excuses actually plausible? Kat will not believe any excuse about her dad being ill without being able to see for herself if it's true and Kyle just... Kyle won't believe you, sorry," he shrugged lightly. "I want to keep them out of it completely, Kat will worry herself and Kyle will... well you know his opinion on 'that night' and us two... he'll think that's the reason for his mum wanting some time apart," he explained carelessly and then winced slightly, realising this probably hadn't been the best thing to admit. "And it's not, it's definitely not the reason," he reiterated again, just in case she had any kind of guilty feelings about the whole thing. He felt arrogant to assume she would feel guilty but thought it was best to say something to reassure her the guilt was unnecessary. He still blamed himself completely for that night anyway.
"Exactly," he agreed with a look which clearly said the opposite. "A bit of both hmm? Well I suppose I should be happy with that, coming from you," he decided with a small smile. Glancing to the other Aurors he nodded with what she said, "Now you understand why all of today when they've been asking me what's really wrong I didn't want to tell them, I'd rather they didn't have gossip for the more gushing ones of them to spread around the department," he told her in a good humoured way. "You never know, you might see it happen," he said simply with a casual shrug of his shoulders as he lifted his cup to take another sip of coffee. "What?" he said, turning back towards the group, "Yes finally," he muttered under his breath, "So Hathaway, you ready to catch this bastard?" he asked with a smile sideways at her.
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